Did They Really Say That?

Believe Me 
Or Not! 
 
A five-minute immersion exercise in History, Humour, Current Events and TRIVIA
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Subject of Interest

 DID THEY REALLY SAY THAT?
Or just a clever invention of some people interested in humour and for the lighter side of life.
By
Jose Sison luzadas
Delray Beach,FL
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WE ARE OPEN LATE
 
The late Dave Thomas, founder and CEO of Wendy’s restaurants was a high school drop out. For many years he worked in the shadow of another legend Colonel Harland Sanders, founder of the chain of Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets. Determined to finish off his high school education, he resumed his studies until finally got his diploma at age 90.  In the Class of 1996 YEARBOOK the Class Prophesy listed him as “THE STUDENT MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED”.

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 MEET THE OTHER THOMAS


Never associated with Col. Sander’s success KFC story nor was he related to Wendy’s Dave Thomas but this other “Thomas ” was in the employ of Swanson Food Company where and when revolutionized a new concept in FOOD and LIFESTYLE.

Gerry Thomas’ creative imagination began while aboard the plane in one of his business trips looking pensively at a three compartment metal tray the flight stewardess was handing him his dinner. Once on the ground, his keen observation and creativity that developed found its way to Swanson drawing board ushering in the birth of unique name and serving direct from the fridge….”TV DINNER”! This innivation oooops invention accorded Gerry Thomas one prestigious address as “ the father”.
One report said Gerry Thomas was deluged with letters from complaining husbands who felt deprived of the “home cooking” they expect from their wives.

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Old Mark Twain:”…. And The Legend Continues” 
 
With his humour and wit, he has legion of admirers in the world including Canada’s humorist Stephen Leacock.  But one morning while reading a newspaper he noticed his own OBITUARY.  Mr. Mark Twain never lost his sense of humour, shook his head, amused and with ironic smile he was reported to have said, MY DEATH HAS BEEN EXAGGERATED.
 
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OVER THERE AND UNDER HERE
 
The last recorded state of war between the United Kingdom and the United States was the War of 1812 where the British burned the White House and Jean Lafitte, a buccaneer by profession threw his support to Old Hickory. Each side, however, claimed victorious. Since then the Brits and the Yanks are loyal allies and most recently, they were together again combining their manpower and war materiel to knock out Houssein Saddam in the Iraqi War.
 
But during WWII there were reported recriminations, whining, complaints or signs of “sibling rivalry” between Americans and their British cousins. Perhaps pride and nationalism have something to do. US soldiers stationed in England were perceived to be enjoying their stint of overseas duty with lavish privileges not enjoyed by their British counterpart, such as OVER THERE, American GIs were over paid, over fed, and over sexed. While the local boys were treated UNDER HERE, British soldiers were  under paid, under fed, under sexed and UNDER EISENHOWER! 
 
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ACTORS AND DECOYS: LONG BEFORE HOLLYWOOD
 
In 1901 the US military occupation government under General Merritt was concerned by the mounting death toll of American soldiers and civilian casualties. It was the tactical ingenuity of Colonel Funston that brought an end to the wily General Aguinaldo and his soldiers roaming the countryside. Funston enlisted the services of disgruntled Filipino soldiers from Macabebe, Pampanga, dressed them with newly pressed Katipunan uniforms and trekked the jungles of Palanan, Isabela. Following them were commandos to back up the surprised raid.
 
Funston had his hands tied pretending to be a captured American prisoner of war. Aguinaldo himself was completely fooled getting excited watching a well-rehearsed greeting, HENERAL ITO HO ANG AMING REGALO SA INYONG KAARAWAN. The rest is history as his last stronghold fell surrounded by a combined force of US soldiers and Filipino traitors.
 
The trick was a clever masterstroke of Funston who organized the Macabebe Scouts, which was the forerunner of the Philippine Scouts that fought the Japanese. It also inspired one-time chief of staff General Ileto in the creation of the Scout Rangers in the campaign against the insurgent People’s National Army.
 
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HE IS MY GUY AND THE LEGEND WAS BORN
 
It was an accidental meeting in 1947 between a modest looking Filipino congressman and a covert intelligence agent working for the CIA.  Ramon Magsaysay, a one-time guerrilla leader later elected congressman from Zambales was visiting the United States to lobby for the release of back pay benefits for his men when he was introduced to a certain Colonel Lansdale who was then a minor player in CIA’s covert intelligence gathering. This chance meeting changed the course of Philippine history five years later.
 
The unpopularity of President Quirino due to charges of graft and corruption and his weakness to contain the sporadic attacks by the communist Hukbalahaps made the U.S. State Department leery. Paranoid by the  “domino theory” effect, stopping communism became a central issue as a menace threatening the peace and security in Southeast Asia, The United States put pressure on the Philippine Government forcing President Quirino to accommodate in his cabinet someone that bore the image of a no nonsense communist fighter.
 
Based in Vietnam, CIA man, Colonel Lansdale received instruction to proceed to Manila in search of “ignoramus innocent provinciano looking Filipino” to play ala  Hollywood script on behalf of State Department with one mission, to destabilize communist advances in the country.  Whisked from the Manila International Airport to the friendly confines of JUSMAG, Quezon City, Lansdale told the military brass “I have the man we are looking for, MAGSAYSAY IS MY GUY “.
 
Magsaysay took his lessons in dramatics from his tutor, Lansdale. He may not have the screen talents of Leopoldo Salcedo or Rogelio dela Rosa, but Monching showed not only the undisguised ability for acting but also a natural and genuine interest in the common people.
 
The political violence committed by the Liberals like Governor Rafael Lacson whose goons were responsible for the brutal murder of Moises Padillla, a Nacionalista mayoralty candidate of the town of Magallon, Negros Oriental doomed the chances of Quirino’s reelection bid. On the other hand, it sealed Magsaysay and the Nacionalista Party victory with help from Manahan, Pelaez, Adevoso and especially Manglapus whose jingle Mambo Magsaysay became the rallying if not a warning song, “ANG DEMOCRACY WILL DIE, KUNG WALA SI MAGSAYSAY”.
 
The presidential election of 1953 confirmed the wishes of the people. It was a huge margin of victory for THE GUY and Elpidio Quirino went to oblivion. Because of his dramatic role in the election results, RM’s tutor and friend, Colonel Lansdale was given a new name and was addressed, MR.LANSLIDE!
 
HAVE A NICE DAY!
 
Jose Sison Luzadas
Toronto, CANADA

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