Childhood Nostalgia

All Conquering Conkers

Conker, photo by PH Morton

I just remember from my childhood aged 7 to 11 in my primary school playground the enjoyment and fun playing a traditional autumn game with my friends. The game was called ‘Conkers’ and is a traditional childrens game in Britain. A conker is the seed of Horse Chestnut tree also called a conker tree.

We knew when autumn was begining and around early-mid October, the seeds surrounded and protected by a spiked green casing fall form the branches onto the ground. The casing splits opens exposing the brown seed. Eager children and adults eagerly pick the shiny (unedible) seeds each. Each conker is 2–4 cm diameter, glossy nut-brown with a whitish scar at the base about the size of a chestnut (an edible relative which is delicious when roasted).

in 1848, the first recorded game of conkers using Horse Chestnuts was played on the Isle of Wight.  

The game is played by two players, each with a conker threaded onto a piece of string: they take turns striking each other’s conker until one break.

The conker eventually breaking the other’s conker gains a point. This may be either the attacking conker or (more often) the defending one if harder.
A new conker is a none-er meaning that it has conquered none yet.

If a none-er breaks another none-er then it becomes a one-er, if it was a one-er then it becomes a two-er etc. In some areas of Scotland, conker victories are counted using the terms bully-one, bully-two, etc. In some areas of the United States and Canada, conker victories are counted using the terms one-kinger, two-kinger, etc.
The winning conker also takes over the previous score of the losing conker, as well as gaining the score from that particular game. For example, if a two-er plays a three-er, the surviving conker will become a six-er (the sum of the two previous scores plus one for the current game).
If a conker was thinner and flatter on one side, we would call it a ‘cheese cutter’ as it had an edge to it which could slice/cut into a more rounder conker.
Also if your opponent dropped his conker, you could stamp on it crushing out of the game and so claim victory 🙂

We knew various tips (cheats 😉 ) to make our game conkers harder, such as coating with clear nail varnish or soaking and /or boiling in vinegar.

Today now early October, my lovely four-year-old grandson Nathan gave us two conkers that he had collected near his new primary school.

I was hoping that little Nathan would play conkers in a few years time with his new school friends, however the inane Health & Safety ‘dickats’ from an out of touch government, now prohibits this harmless playground game which has had no recorded injury in its 165-year-old history! Commentators wonder why children are always playing with mobile PC games alone ignoring others and not mixing more with other children! Conkers help children interact, build friendships, friendly competition and have fun! At least they can hopefully play out of school if time permits.

However, the grown-ups still like to play and every year there is a World Conker Championship held in England 🙂

There is and old wives tale that house spiders fear conkers and will vacate rooms containing conkers collected in a dish. Scientists are investigating this claim made by many trying this ‘anti-spider’ remedy!